So many of us are caught up in trying to chase life, we rarely consider what we’re attempting to catch.
For many, it may be a sort of ‘fuzzy around the corners’ dream that consists of glimpses of happiness in whatever forms they might take.
Quiet times spent with a loved one in a beautiful place, a thunderous applause from an audience as you stand on stage, looking in the mirror pleased at what you see looking back…
I know for myself, any dream I have chased has had that ethereal quality. The kind that FEEL well defined and concrete, yet the moment I try to articulate them, they leave my mouth, quickly vaporizing with the release of the breath they rode out on.
I found that as long as I was seeking to be something, I was never truly arriving.
This sort of cat and mouse chase with our goals seems to reflect momentum towards reaching a destination, but for myself, I’ve experienced it as more of an eternal treadmill. Always moving, never quite getting where you want to go.
It’s no wonder so many of us find ourselves so exhausted by day to day living.
I imagine it’s that sort of exhaustion that prompts us to look for better and better solutions to this quest. In my life, it brought me to esoteric contemplation and spiritual practice – also known as “trying to escape through the spiritual backdoor.”
I’ll cut to the end, going through the door doesn’t really help you escape from the trials of life, but it did offer me a few new perspectives on how I might approach these experiences.
And out of all these perspectives, one of the most helpful has been the ability to ‘create space’ in my life.
I’m a big believer and perceiver that we are constantly reinforcing the way we experience and relate to reality through the thoughts, words, and actions we repeat – consciously and unconsciously.
For example, consider how we program ourselves. How many of these things have you said or thought to yourself? (I have done this too):
“I should do this.”
“I don’t have enough time for that.”
“I have to go to work”
“Not enough time in the day”
“When I have more ____ then I can do it”
All of these perceptions become programmed conditions that allow us (or deny us) the ability to have certain experiences in our lives – by our own creation!
So how do we begin to shift? How do we ‘create space’ and start to pivot the trajectory of our life?
It starts with the conscious acceptance that we are responsible for our inner reality. We are responsible for navigating our perceptions, our choices, our focus.
Even when it’s challenging, even when we have habitual patterns, we are the first and last decision maker in our inner lives.
Once we embrace that responsibility, (The respond-ability), then we can start shifting and making choices that line up with the experiences we most want to have.
Next, we give ourselves a healthy does of self love.
You may have noticed yourself picking on yourself for some of the self talk. Or perhaps you give yourself a hard time in other areas. The truth is, our selves thrive in the radiance of our own love.
That part of yourself that can feel ‘hard to control’ is like a small child. It benefits from boundaries and guidance, but fear won’t help you thrive. Unconditional love is the key to the greatest inner and outer success.
It’s something you must choose to tend to each day, like a garden – not just a mantra you say in the morning.
Now, I’m a big fan of incremental changes lately. Making small adjustments, so that our changes ‘stick’ in the long term. If you find it hard to make a bigger leap to self love, then start with self acceptance. Find acceptance for your quirks, your foibles, the things that can make life challenging sometimes.
Be patient and tolerant with yourself. Encourage. These things will gain their own momentum. Simply tend to it every day. You will see yourself blossom.
Following self love and self care, you get to the fun stuff – choice! What do we want to create? Tending to your energy helps you be respectful of it – and it helps you prune out people and situations in your life that don’t respect your energy the way you do.
This opens you up to more energy than you’ve had before! (And, it’s one of the many helpful portals you can take to ‘space creation!)
Others include adjusting your attitude and perceptions around time, becoming flexible with your beliefs, and getting curious about the nature of reality.
But those are explorations for another day.
For today, I hope you choose to give this perspective a spin, and grant yourself that extra space. You deserve it.